Saturday, August 20, 2011

Atma Samarpana or Self surrender

Sri Appayya Dikshitar was a follower of Lord Shiva.  He performed Yagnas.  He lived during the period of 1520-1593.  Once he wanted to know what he would talk about in an unconscious mind frame, in an intoxicated mind frame.  For this purpose he ground 'Ummathangai', (a herb which is used intoxicate a person) and drank it.  But before drinking the same, he asked his disciple to note down eveything he said in his intoxicated state of mind.
In the intoxicated mind frame Sri Appayya Dikshitar wrote 50 slokas on the Lord and they are known as 'Unmatha Panchasati' or 'Stutikavya'.  These slokas are refereed to as 'atma samarpana' or complete surrender in 'Bhaki Yoga'.

This story was told to me by my father when I was a child.  My father  was a devote of 'Lord Varadharaja' of Kanchipuram in Tamil Nadu from his childhood.  He at his last stages suffered from 'Alzheimer's problem.  Alzemeir's disorder makes the person forget almost everything,  To my amazement, my father forgot almost everything, stage by stage and about everybody.  He could not recognise any of his siblings, children, his most loved grand children and he could not recognise his wife or his pet dog.  At that stage all his siblings, their children and his friends used to visit him very frequently.  To everyone's amazement he would talk about 'Lord Varadharaja', recite his slokas and would describe the way he was decorated in the chariot and how he used to look on a specific decoration without a single mistake.  A person who could not recognize or remember anyone around him, would describe his 'Ishta Deivam' as though be could see nothing but his image in his mind.  I have seen people laughing at him becuase he talked about the same thing for days together.  But I feel it was his 'Atma Samarpana' towards 'Lord Varadharaja'.
 I could not stop my tears from flowing down my cheeks as I am writing this blog.  I am proud to be his daughter.
I just wish I am gifted with same kind of end to my life too.
Human mind is a mixture of all kinds of thoughts.  But at the end after we churn our mind its a boon to bring our the nectar of this kind of 'Atma Samarpana' to God.

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